When It's Disneyland

My good friend Sean once said, "Fuck flowers, if you love me do my taxes". This has always been my general approach to romance and really life in general: practicality over pomp. I'd rather have someone in my life who drives me to work when my car breaks down, who brings dinner over when they know I worked all day, or who might help me clean my apartment when it gets nasty. To me, that's love: doing something that is in no way advantageous to you, because it will make someone you care for happy.

This is not to say that romantic gestures are unwelcome. If there is one thing that my recent crusade of talking to half the people I know in a long term relationship has wrought, is that everyone, regardless of how long they have been together likes to be reminded that they are still loved. This is where we all differ though. Where I would swoon for someone who washed my dishes or drove out to my place (even if it was out of the way) because they knew I had a shitty day, others crave the public displays--the fireworks, the flowers, the carefully choreographed proposal.

The reason I am even thinking of this is that I am currently preparing a letter for someone in British Columbia. His wife is celebrating her birthday and his goal is to receive over 7,000 greetings from around the world, including one from a municipality she has never lived in, on the other side of the country. If he succeeds he will actually be in the Guiness Book of World Records. Though I commend him for the effort I can't help but think of the final product: a massive collection of letters, filled with congratulations from complete strangers--many of which used a template and merely changed the name and address.

These letters are like teddy bears holding a heart, albeit 7,000 teddy bears: generic, manufactured, and available pretty much anywhere you can buy condoms.

When the fireworks fade and the flowers wilt, it's the effort that remains, and though it takes effort to buy or orchestrate these gestures, in the end it's what lies behind them that matters; It is in the knowing you, the details and flaws they get and accept; that when you're stuck, or weak, or feeling alone, there is someone on their way regardless of where you are...
...and hopefully they're bringing a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, cuz you know that shit just makes it all better.