Where Realism Ends and Pessimism Begins

A few days before a vacation ends I prep myself for the return to reality. I generally assume people will be late for things even when specifically asked to be on time. If someone were to spend a lot of money on something like jewellery or flowers I would accept graciously while always thinking of ways the money could have been better spent.

I genuinely don’t see myself as a pessimist. Through the years it’s the reputation that’s sort of stuck, but when it matters I’m usually Mr. Brightside: A bad mark isn’t the end of the world, a failed interview was probably for the best anyway since you’re destined for bigger things, the date didn’t go so well because you deserve someone better. When I say these things I genuinely mean them. Being a realist, contrary to popular belief, is usually pretty optimistic.

I have a one-frame comic up in my locker that shows a cartoon woman standing on a curb; the byline reads, “Sometimes I imagine my lover is leaving me, so I’ll be prepared for the eventual breakup”. I shat my pants laughing when I saw it because it is sort of my mantra. If you expect the worst, if it happens, you are better prepared to handle it. If someone takes out a will at a young age they are seen as proactive, if you have money put aside for an emergency you are seen as responsible. Baby-proofing you home is common-sense, and it’s illegal to drive without car insurance.

In all of these cases being prepared for the worst case scenario is smart—why not side with caution when it’s something important? If this is true why does preparing for the possible end of a relationship seem so horrible? No matter how I write these next sentences, I know many people have already dismissed them as “negative thinking”, but the realist in me knows divorce rates, knows the stats on successful long-term relationships, knows what it’s like to be blindsided and remembers long conversations with friends who “didn’t see it coming”.

At the risk of going all Carrie Bradshaw, in a world where we hide our PIN numbers so people don’t break into our bank accounts, and install alarms so people don’t break into our homes, is it really so crazy to be on alert for someone who might break our hearts. HA HA HA! I should totally be smoking and looking out my Manhattan apartment window right now.