Oh Me Oh My

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Two Tickets for "Love is Nice" Please

Lately it seems a lot of conversations I am having revolve around coupledom and singledom. More and more of my friends are pairing off (which I'm happy about I unsarcastically swear). Though I notice my single colleagues in their late 20s and early 30s are becoming acquaintances with their lifelong friends and becoming kindred spirits with the staff at their neighbourhood Blockbuster. And a friend of mine whose ex works with Animal Control recently informed her that the number of people who die and are eaten (at least in part) by their starving pets is on a steady incline; Man's best friend indeed.

But even when I am not thinking about the thin pink line that divides the singles from the coupled-off I am hit with something that resonates. At my new, overly pricey dentist's office you can watch a movie while they drill holes in your face. While I was getting all my old fillings replaced (fun, right) I watched the entire 2004 blahsterpiece "Shall We Dance". And while I couldn't always follow the plot, what with the whirring and buzzing of equipment I would catch snippets of dialogue here and there.

The one and only time they left me alone to "rest my jaw" I got to hear Susan Sarandon's awesome speech. Usually the dreck the characters spew in these kinds of movies is too maudlin and sappy to be taken seriously but in one 30 second clip she summarized exactly why people even get married anymore:

We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

Isn't that the most touching thing you have ever fuckin' heard!? I roll my eyes at the predictable "your eyes are like" similes and feel nauseous when people claim to fall in love at first sight, but that is what beneath the dozen roses and heart-holding teddy bears is what I think we all truly want.

In total contrast to that my I-Pod is in dire need of something new so I entered a chatroom and asked "What is your favourite song or artist, I need some new music?" Most replies were along the Madonna, Mariah route (that's what I get for asking in a gay chatroom) but some random guy suggested I check out Regina Spektor. I ended up downloading everything I could and fell in love with one song called "Ode to Divorce". The lyrics combined with how she sings them really illustrates the feeling of love at an end:

The food that I’m eating
Is suddenly tasteless
I know I’m alone now
I know what it tastes like
So break me to small parts
Let go in small doses
But spare some for spare parts
There might be some good ones

You’re talking to her now
And you’ve eaten something minty
And you’re making that face that I like
And you’re going in, in
For the kill, kill
For the killer kiss, kiss
For the kiss, kiss


I need your money, it’ll help me
I need your car and I need your love.

People always tell me they won't be the type to change once they are in a long-term relationship. It's not that anyone makes a conscious effort to be different, but naturally your priorities change, your availability changes, the things you can do, the places you go and before you know it, your friends only appear upon invitation. This is the case. It's not a bad thing (I'm totally saying this without sarcasm) it's just the progression of things.

Is it bad then that that every time I say "There's plenty of fish in the sea" I breathe a little sigh of relief that it didn't work out? When a friend has a bad date or decides to call it quits before it gets serious I smile a little inside (on in the case of Adrienne, a little outside--I'm still such a jerk for that :P) I was thinking of this when channel surfing and I caught the last 2 minutes of an episode of Will & Grace. Grace has just met Leo and is having second thoughts about artificial insemenation with Will. Will is furious since she craps out on him on a regular basis :

WILL: I always let it go, Grace, because it's not like we're making a baby or something. Except this time, we're making a baby!

GRACE: Yes, at the moment you say, the place you say, wearing the clothes you say. You are a control freak! All I asked for was one month, one month to see where this is going.

WILL: Oh, let me tell you where this is going. You'll end up hating him in three weeks, because--I don't know, he has a weird chest hair pattern, or he doesn't like watching E! Or he'll end up hating you, because you're too needy. Then you'll fall apart, I'll pick you up, and then, magically, you'll be ready to have a baby!

GRACE: Wow. So that's what you think of me. Look, I'm sorry that I met someone, 'cause I know how much you hate it when I'm happy.

WILL: Oh, that is such a load--

GRACE: Admit it. You're happiest when I'm miserable. I mean, come on. Isn't that our thing? Because then you don't have to look at how miserable you are.

WILL: Shut up, Grace!

GRACE: But I am not gonna be miserable for you. I am gonna try to be happy, and if you can't deal with that, then you are even more pathetic than I thought!

WILL: Get out of here.

GRACE: Go to hell!

WILL: I want you out of here in two weeks! You don't live here anymore.

It's strange that I stumbled across this episode right? Stranger still that I only caught this scene, no? Stranger still that the first time I saw it I thought Will was being unreasonable and this time around I just felt bad for him. I just look at those old letters from grade school and high school: BFFs whose faces you barely recall, smiling photos with people you don't keep in touch with and a whole lot of "4 Eva" promises that never really panned out. (Who's Eva?)

Again, this blog doesn't really have an ending--just a collection of musings. I'd like to pull a Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives and have some kind of central theme but it's really a sort of mishmash. Just read it in the voice of Mary Alice or Meredith Grey and pretend.


At 7:35 p.m., Blogger Byron said...

That first quote was beautiful and you're right, I think that's what we all really want. I asked my 26 year old coworker, who's been married 3 years, what it's like to be married and she said 'It's nice to always have someone on your side'. That resounded somewhere in me and then I read your blog.

On a totally unrelated note, I just got around to listening to some of the spelling bee soundtrack and you're right on that too. The Chicago cast totally tears New York a new one.

At 7:40 p.m., Blogger adge said...

Yes, yes, I'm terrible at the dating thing...hahaha. Thanks for making me an example Jamie!!! j/j

p.s. I wasn't the one in the end who jumped ship, it was him! (though it was on my mind quite abit)

At 10:20 a.m., Blogger -loo-bot- said...

Jamie, looking for new music? Check out Final Fantasy...the track "This is the Dream of Win and Regine" goes well with the theme of this blog. It makes "love" feel uplifting with it's violin strings.

At 1:26 p.m., Blogger Madox23 said...

If you want to two tickets to “Love is Nice,” remember you must laugh. And if you have to laugh, then you’re gonna have to get that crayon shoved up your nose…


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