Oh Me Oh My

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

To Sleep, Perchance to Sleep S'more

Friends tell me horror stories of tossing and turning for hours, staring up at the ceiling, knowing they’ll have to get up in a couple of hours with barely any sleep. When I tell them it rarely takes me longer than 3 to 5 minutes to pass out I get looks of jealous disdain.

I get sleepy walking through the Sears linen department. I am the worst person to ride shotgun as I will fall asleep on you the entire way there AND back. I have fallen asleep in movies, in restaurants, clubs, bars and pretty much everyone’s house I have ever visited; in the middle of conversations; sitting up, standing up and even on the toilet. Once while returning from a movie I told the friend I was driving with that we needed to pull over as I couldn’t make it home without closing my eyes for a couple of minutes. When I awoke he was eating a Tim Horton’s Bagel. Apparently I had been asleep for 45 minutes and he had gotten hungry.

Lately it has gotten worse. It’s not from lack of sleeping as it seems the only thing that stirs me awake on my days off is a bladder ready to explode. I get really strange looks when I tell people I never wake up in the middle of the night. I often wake up with my glasses still on, lamplight shining, magazine on my face, or worse yet magazine on the floor; meaning I fell asleep while reaching for the switch on my table lamp.

On two occasions I was overcome with such a need to sleep I just lay on the floor. My bed was a mere 8 steps away and I just sorta…lay down. I also find myself “losing time”. That’s when I am watching something and even though the show has just begun, it’s suddenly over and I realize I must have slept through 40 minutes of it, but do not recall even closing my eyes. The last 2 nights I have passed out on the couch at around 10:00pm only to wake at around 3 or 4 unable to fall asleep again until it’s time to go to work.

So in conclusion don’t be jealous. It blows being unable to keep your eyes open, falling asleep at parties or on dates or during intimate conversations. Next time you can’t sleep, watch a movie or read a book and be happy you can do so without the Sandman punching you in the face.

Weird Experiment:
Do a Google Image Search of the term "yawning" and tell me if looking at all the pictures makes you yawn too...or if it's just me.


At 4:37 p.m., Blogger Earl Falco said...

Intimate conversations eh ;) I didn't know HUNK HUNTER had a phone service to :P that could get expensive if you fall asleep on the phone :P its true he is the worst shotgun person...sometimes :)

At 5:05 p.m., Blogger Darek/Darciu/Dariusz said...

At the sleep clinic (I ended up looking like Mojo with all those wires and electrodes coming out of my head) I had to write a survey before they Mojo'd me up and some of the questions on the survey was "Do you fall asleep while speaking?" and "How often do you fall asleep watching tv?"

Maybe you should go to the sleep clinic??

Btw, I woke up covered in white goo :S

At 5:32 p.m., Blogger Joanna said...

I'm one of those jealous people, I have to admit but now that I see your side of things, it's really not great either way.

At 9:42 a.m., Anonymous jen said...

definitely check up on that. that aint right. lol.

seeing people yawn always makes me yawn. even beakman couldnt explain it. its just one of lifes great mysteries.

At 7:07 p.m., Blogger adge said...

There is a sleep clinic at my placement at Markham Stouffville Hospital...I could hook you up! They have comfy beds! :P


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