XOXO

I am not from an emotionally expressive family. It’s not that we don’t love eachother we’re just more likely to build you a bookshelf or make you dinner than to utter the words.

In high school I never hugged anyone, EVER! It was a strict rule of thumb I guess I used to keep my distance from people—assuming wrongfully that one day they wouldn’t be my friends anymore.

Then I entered university and many things changed; I hugged, a lot. Almost any pictures I have from my time at York I am squished into someone else; arms clasped, cheeks mashing into one another and a big goofy smile on my face. I greeted everyone with hugs—not manly battle hugs with back-slapping and shoulder bumping, and bodies as distant as physically possible, but warm, all-encompassing “I am so glad to see you” embraces.

Then I graduated and for some reason I reverted to my old ways. When I greet people I give them the reverse head nod, which is weird because if your arms are extended and you do the same gesture it looks like you’re picking a fight: “Wanna Go!?!”

When I am at a party and I see someone I haven’t seen in a while I do that weird open palm in the air thing that says either “Hey, how’s it going?” or “Pass me a Sprite”.

Worse yet is when you’re leaving. If I am beyond the point of the one giant wave to everyone present and into individual goodbye territory it will inevitably become an awkward dance of figuring out one another’s upcoming action. Hands are half stuck out, cheeks are presented, high fives are lingering in the air and open arms are comin’ at ya. Inevitably I will do the wrong thing, hugging the high-fiver or hand-slapping the cheek-kisser. Awkwaaaaard!

My friend’s boyfriend is the world’s most notorious hugger. His hugs are full-body boa-grips that last an inordinately long time, and though this freaked me out a little initially, I now welcome them because it makes me feel like he’s genuinely happy to see me.

This is why next time I see you and we’re both standing up, I’m going to hug you. It won’t necessarily be a long hug but you’re getting hugged, so this is your heads up. It may seem strange coming from the guy whose heart is 2 sizes too small but in the words of Marcy Park (Earl and Jen, I’m lookin’ at you) I’M NOT ALL BUSINESS!