VJ vs. PJ: Indian Beauties

The debate has raged on for years, and truly we may never know who was the better media presence; the stunningly beautiful host of MuchMusic's Electric Circus and Rapid Fax Monika Deol, or the YTV VJ slash model slash dancer slash singer of such classic hits as A-YA, PJ Aashna. I have created a mathematically perfect model to figure this out:

Years on Toronto Television
x Hotness on a scale of 1-10
- Cheese factor
+ Additional points for each notable achievement since they've moved on.
(additonal points may be taken away or added for random reasons)

Monika Deol
My God I loved this woman. Only someone with her presence could make a show like Electric Circus fun to watch. The former club DJ managed to be Sophisticated yet fun, sexy and intelligent, Monika Deol was the coolest role model ever for young Indian girls. For much of her career she did 5 different shows and was on TV 7 days a week. On her final episode of Electric Circus 35,000 came to wish her well as she shipped off to Vancouver where she has shifted through a couple of stations including Vancouver's CityTV.

PJ Aashna Patel

Much like Monika, Aashna hosted a whole slew of shows from YTV's Hit List to YTV's Breakfast Zone, which was like Regis & Kelly except targetted to teens. PJ Aashna was from the golden age of PJs with PJ Phil and PJ Exan, but alas she had bigger dreams. After releasing her album and the dreadfully bad but catchy, "A-Ya" Aashna left YTV and so they entered their dark age of sugar baby and a Hit List hosted by the Children of the Corn who played nothing but brit-pop; old brit-pop at that: Take That broke up! Accept it and move on!

So now the scores:

Monika Deol

Years on Toronto television = 9

Hotness on a scale of 1-10 (no one looks better in dark lipstick) = 9.5

Cheese factor (she made it better but it was still EC after all) -8

(score before bonuses + deductions) = 77.5

She's now an anchor for CityTV Vancouver which nabs her +15. Also, every host of EC since her has been an increasingly more hideous train wreck. From the so-so Juliette Powell to the terribly irritating occasional soka princess Nadine, to the fish out of water Amanda & Rainbow who always looked so uncomfortable, monica gets +12 just by comparison. She has said in an interview however that she has grown past pop-culture reporting and is surprised people mainly remember her for Electric Circus. For that statement which I choose to interpret as a bit snotty and a bit back-handed at her beginnings I must -10 points.

So the Final Score for Ms. Monika Deol is 94.5

PJ Aashna

Years on Toronto Television = 4

Hotness on a scale of 1-10 = 6

Cheese Factor = (have you heard "A Ya"?) -5

(score before bonuses + deductions) = 19

Aashna has kept herself busy since her YTV days. She recorded a CD singing the national anthem which is apparently heard in over 1000 schools daily--that's worth at least 3 points per hundred schools so she gets +30. She also hosts her own show on the Travel Network (who knew), a spin-off of which plays during flights on US Airways and America West Airlines reaching almost a million people a month--that's an easy +35. Though I found the lyrics for "A Ya" online and they include the verse:

"Pump your body, clickety clack, girls in the front and boys in the back"

Seriously.....clickety clack? That's a -40 deduction right there. Though I did spend a solid 20 minutes on E-Bay trying to find her album and apparently she's releasing another one in 2006, so who am I to judge, +50.

So the Final Score for Ms. Aashna Patel is 94

It was very close but Monica Deol wins by a hair. If you are reading this Monika, your prize is marrying me. I know you're over 40 now, but I'm cool with that. My feelings for you are best described in a variation of the classic Shabba Ranks hit, "Twice My Age":

I'm in love with a girl.

Nearly twice my age.

She hos-ted EC

Which was a kick in my youthful days.

And as I go my way,

I don't care what people say,

because for you Monika,

I would swing that way.