Oh Me Oh My

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Rogers vs. Bell: Clash of the Functionally Retarded Titans

Rogers and Bell are both Canadian communications monopolies. They're huge! Everytime you call someone, surf online, pick up a magazine, watch a program, they most likely have their hands in it. And much like anything that grows more than it should, it becomes too big to manage and pretty much goes to shit. My Communications Prof once said "As soon as you add a third person to an organization of 2, you get problems, add another and it gets worse". Imagine how bad it gets when the organization has thousands upon thousands of people to deal with.

To me the physical embodiment of this is those people who grow like 9 or 10 feet tall. You would think there would be advantages to being that big but instead of a powerful giant you get a hunchback with motor skill problems. It's like the organization is a cat and each new service or media outlet is another morsel of food and they keep cramming more and more down until the cat looks like Popcorn (My friend Crystal's cat, not the snack food) and then what do you have? A fat surly monster that doesn't move and puts you on hold for 24 minutes! Fuckin' Bell!

So in summary when organizations get too big they become grotesque, chunky, inefficient very tall cats.

I write all this because Bell fucked up my internet--completely their fault, and they can't even fix it until December. The alternate is Rogers which goes down more than an aspiring model waiting for her big break. ACK!


At 5:49 p.m., Anonymous Arlene said...

Let's tear down the big man! I'll hold him down and you take a punch, or do whatever you want to them. Screw them over.

At 11:59 a.m., Blogger -loo-bot- said...

Those damn fat cats. They can be bullies. One time Bell billed me for over an hour usage of mobile browser on my cellphone which I know I didn't use because it happened sometime before the break of dawn. My cellphone was recharging at that time. So I gave customer service a phone call and this is how it pretty much went down:
me: "...Seriously, why would I wake up around 4:00AM to use my mobile browser?"
Bell: "Records said you did. Maybe you fell a sleep on top of your cellphone and pressed some buttons by accident."
me: "That can't be possible! My cell phone is yards away from my bed."
Bell: "Yeah, well, maybe you did."
me: "Dude, that so didn't happen."
Bell: "But you did. Thanks for choosing Bell."
So I ended up paying over a hundred dollars on my cellphone bill that month. Fat cats are bullies.

At 5:19 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking on behalf of my cat Popcorn, he's not that fat! And - he definately is NOT a bully.

Luv Crystal


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