I Spy With My Abnormal Eye

As anyone who has ever tried on my glasses can attest to, I am one blind mother fucker. I have both myopia and an astigmatism so severe I have yet to visit any eye care professional who doesn't double take or "whoa" when they see my prescription. At today's optometrist appointment I was told that I should be wary that the hardcoredness of my astigmatism could be a symptom of keratoconus: which arises when the middle of the cornea thins and gradually bulges outward, forming a rounded cone shape. This abnormal curvature changes the cornea's refractive power, producing moderate to severe distortion. Awesome.

There is nothing to worry about yet but when I asked how bad it can get she told me that in really bad cases it may require a "corneal transplant". Needless to say I pooped a bit when I heard those words. It also got me thinking about the attachment we make with people's eyes. We see so much in them and they reveal so much about other people. My eyes are the only part of my body I like dammit! I may have thin girly fingers, a facial bald patch that prevents me from growing facial hair and a set of man boobs that has me one step away from shopping in the junior miss department for a trainer, but I really like my eyes: they change colour with the weather, I can make my pupils grow at will, and most of all they are the one physical feature I get complimented on (mainly because they don't require any kind of maintenance and I had nothing to do with them). And for a sucker with a need for the occasional ego-boost, they have always come in handy.

I don't want new corneas, so I will do my darndest to keep these healthy. She told me hard contacts (smaller and more easily lost than the soft lenses that everyone else has) may actually help me see better, plus I'd get to see without the shield of glasses; the catch being the few months of getting used to them "bulging under your eyelids when you blink". The choice for vanity is also the choice for better vision. The choice for laziness is also the choice for comfort and financial savings. I'm torn.

Creepy example of coincidence - the theme on American Idol tonight is Stevie Wonder songs.