Oh Me Oh My

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Robotic, Robotic, Put Your Hands All Over My Body

I don't know why i was thinking about it but I was pondering the future and the wonders and horrors of technology that await us. I was thinking of Artificial Inteligence and how one day robots will be as commonplace as refrigerators or cars. If science fiction has taught us anything it is that the age of rocketpacks and the colonization of Uranus are just around the bend. Another thing science fiction has taught us is that once the more crude models are out of the way robots will grow to serve their one primary function--to sex up the fleshies.

From Austin Powers to Serenity, to the Outer Limits to A.I., we can count on the fact that decades of research and ingenuity will eventually create a robot so advanced it will be able to help mankind in ways previously unimagined; not by combatting disease or working the dangerous jobs no living person should do, but by serving us a mojito before our regular 4 p.m. handjob or taking the form of a certain someone who walks by your desk exactly twice a day somehow looking sexier each time especially when they wore that white top that was tighter than it should have been for "business casual". We can lie to ourselves and say it's not a priority--that the study and advancement of robotics has a more relevant purpose but I'd like to state for the record here in 2005 that I saw it coming.

Think of it this way, you're a socially inept nerd incapable of normal human interaction. You spend most of your young life toiling away in mechanical engineering and computer science. After years of research and experimentation you realize you can create a robot that can sort and condense thousands of tons of garbage, a robot that can withstand extreme heat, cold, depth and radiation. or a robot that answers your front door in nothing but a sports jersey (applies to all sexes and sexualities) with a roast in the oven and a program that sees you not as the chunky social malcontent with patches of itchy skin that you are, but the primary target of sex functions 1 through 788 that they've been programmed to perform. Which of these three robots do you think will get the most attention?

I for one welcome this bold new future with open arms and an open zipper.


At 5:23 p.m., Blogger Joanna said...

I dunno man... sex with a robot? Reminds me a little too much of a pap smear.

At 5:40 p.m., Blogger David said...

So you're saying I should start moving my shares of KY-Jelly to WD-40? lol!

At 7:51 p.m., Anonymous kk said...

lol thank u very mucho mr. roboto...but I already have sex w/battery-powered inhuman machinery ;)

At 3:14 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't there a futurama episode about this?


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