Oh Me Oh My

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Mamas Not The Papas

Years ago, in one of my entrepreneurial moods I thought of compiling a CD that featured songs about mothers and another with songs about fathers. It could be sentimental and make the perfect Mother's/Father's Day gifts. I was a genius! I began brainstorming songs about mothers: Good Mother by Jann Arden is great because it talks about becoming who you are because of your mom. Spice Girls' Mama and Boys II Men "A Song for Mama" were all about being grateful for what mom had done for you, and Kate Bush's Mother Stands for Comfort is all about how moms are our anchors and protectors. This was awesome, now I just had to start planning for the father's compilation...this is where I ran into trouble.

There are no good songs about fathers. In fact, the few that exist are quite negative. Oh Father by Madonna is all about her mixed feelings toward the dad that beat her as a child. Daddy by Jewel is about her emotionally abusive father who cheated on her mom. It goes on like this. I was pretty much ready to scrap the whole plan when the first glimmer of hope shone on me:
Father Figure by George Michael! It was perfect I thought:

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine.
I will be your preacher, teacher
anything you have in mind.
I will be the one who loves you
'til the end of time.

Touching. Sweet. It was the perfect song to start the CD. With hope renewed I began brainstorming again while listening to the rest of the song. I'll admit the line, "If you ever hunger, hunger for me" seemed somewhat out of place at the time, but I wrote it off as a metaphor for nurturing or something. Then he has that line where he sings. "That's all I wanted, but sometimes love can be mistaken... for a crime". Okay that sorta sounded like the confessions of a child molester but I'm gonna go ahead and assume you meant you love someone so much it's almost criminal...not that said love is actually a punishable offense. Then came the clincher: "Just for one moment, to be warm and naked...at your side". Now it's clear; either George Michael isn't singing about parenthood or there are some traumatized kids out there who have a relapse every time Faith comes on.

Am I seriously the only person who never knew the song was about sex? Why would he include that "put your tiny hand in mine" part then? Did he just like 'em with exceptionally small hands? Did he like them younger? Oh eww, now I have a mental picture of George Michael trying out the whole "who's your daddy" role and once again I am skeeved out. This is what I get for trying to be industrious.


At 11:17 p.m., Blogger -loo-bot- said...

Wasn't Michaels smothering some supermodel in that video?

Songs about fathers reminded of my Cat Stevens greatest hits cd. There are a bunch of tracks about fatherhood in this cd, that I'm sure there may be tons more that didn't make the "greatest hits" cut. He wrote songs like "Matthew & Son", "Father and Son", plus he went further on with "I've got a thing about seeing my grandson grow old". Talk about an obsessive father.

At 10:07 a.m., Anonymous Dan said...

That does sound pretty creepy... then again, this is George Michael we're talkinga bout... so a general creep factor should probably be expected.

If you do want actual father music, you'll probably have to look a little farther back in the music-archives. There's Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely", which is about being a father... umm.. no others come to mind. Then again, it's 10 am on a monday... so don't expect big ass insight form me ;)

At 11:11 p.m., Blogger Darek/Darciu/Dariusz said...

Your blogs are prefection.
As for your comment, I changed her name to Kahleen because just like God changed Abram's name to Abraham, I too have changed her name. She deserves it for all she's done
*looks off into the distance*

At 9:59 a.m., Anonymous Sean said...

What about "Oh Mine Papa", that song I assume is jewish because of Will and Grace... Or "Daddy's Girl" from the wonderful 4H club... or "Papa can you hear me" by Barbara Streisand, you should know about that one at least... or "Dance with my father" by Luthor Vandross

Come on Jamie, you need to bone up on your repetoire of songs.

At 9:59 a.m., Blogger Jamie said...

In response to you Sean I did not include songs from musicals nor did I include "Dance with my Father" because it weirds me out.

So there.

At 1:48 a.m., Blogger Vikram Madan said...

People like you crack me up...what a perverted brain....you WANT to look for 'child molesting' tendencies in that song, that is why you see them there. You yourself have child molesting tendencies, that's why you see them in this song...and you know it!!!!

Read my post...'in defence of george michael'...and no, i'm not gay!


Have a nice day!


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