Farty Isabelle!

You know how there are certain names that get tied to a personality trait for one reason or another and then become a euphemism for somebody. You know like guy who won't stop talking to you in line even though you're clearly not interested can be a talkative douchebag or a "Chatty Cathy". Some have historical or biblical significance like "Doubting Thomas". Some have pop culture links like "Debbie Downer" and some from what I gather are just random: like "Lazy Susan" "Bitter Betty" or "Slutty Leslie"...that's right, I'm looking at you Les!

Sure I made that last one up but new terms have to be coined by someone right? The other day I made one up that I want to see become a regular part of the North American vernacular. As anyone who knows me is aware I am a gassy mother, which is a direct result of my losing battle between my love of cheese and my lactose intolerance. On a particularly toot-filled afternoon I declared, "Aren't I a Farty Isabelle?". As soon as it came out of my mouth I knew I wanted this to take-off.

I have tried inventing language in the past with little success. Back in grade school I tried to invent something that could be said when someone has a coughing fit. Sneezers get a "God bless you" or "Gesundheit!" while the poor person hacking their lungs out gets a tepid, "you okay" or "you should drink something" while wiping away cough-tears. From this, "Kopstoffing" was born. I though it was genius, taking the first letters of "stop" and "coughing" and switching them. It sounded quasi-German and I felt it filled a very needed niche in most people's vocabulary; but alas, the needed support from my friend base (who incidentally suck) was lacking, and so much like my ability to feel compassion, it faded away.

I want "Farty Isabelle" to succeed if only because the idea of someone named Isabelle looking regal and letting one rip gives me a chuckle. In fact, I encourage everyone to make up their own. It's easy: take an adjective, pick a name that works well with it and use it as frequently and inappropriately as possible. Every personality trait should have a namesake from Surly Sandra to Socially Awkward Anna. Share them, trade them like pogs and drop them whenever you can. Do it for me, do it for fun, do it for "Kopstoffing" and all that lost potential.